We went for our pictures today...They turned out great. Here is the man at 8 days old.
We also went to the maternal newborn clinic again today...we went on Tuesday and his weifght was down. So we went today to get a weight check since we will not be seeing the Pediatrician until Dec 01 they want to monitor how is doing. Plus we wanted to get the results of the ultrasound on his little heart they did while he was in NICU.
It did not go well....
He lost another 2 ounces and while it is not cause for major concern...he is still under the normal 10% they are concerned that Jake is not taking enough at each feeding. They think that because of his rough start he is having to work too hard to get the milk out and that he is actually burning more calories than he is taking in. They think that maybe nursing him might be too much work for him because he is too "lazy" to nurse. It was suggested to feed him breast milk, pump..feed him expressed milk then feed him formula until full. I know that once we become parents our children rule our lives, but honestly when would they like me to sleep? I was crying because I am so worried about him. The nurse said that it was not anything that I was doing or not doing it's just some babies don't have the strength or the will to nurse. I told her that at each pump session I have only been getting 1/4 ounce of milk. SO the neonataligist said ok...so just supplement with formula. Ok fine. But what they don't understand that he is a really sleepy baby. So was I. My mom said I was the same way. I would drink like an ounce or 2 of formula then fall right to sleep. So maybe Jacob is just like me. A lazy boy. I am fine. In fact I went the oppisite way... ate way too much later in life! When we left I was given these instructions....nurse baby for no more than 20 minutes total...then supplement with formula, every 3 hours pump for 10 minutes. I felt overwhelmed by that. I mean he is eating almost every three hours as it is so when will I have time to pump?
We went for pictures and all I kept thinking about was I am depriving my child. He only ate very little today and was just grazing at each feeding and he would fall asleep right in the middle. Like he always does. He went from about 11:00 this morning sncaked at the clinic for about 5 minutes at 3pm then snacked again at about 5pm and he was not screaming that he was hungry. It made me worry, that he is sick and that I am killing him slowly. We were checking out at the portrait studio and I started to cry. Adam gave me the baby and said to go into the nursing room and nurse him. so I did, afgain he just nursed for about 5 minutes per side and fell asleep. I try to wake him up when he falls asleep at the breat but he is hell bent and determined to sleep. I came to realization that I am retiring my breasts. I want to know exactly what our baby is eating. So that I can relax and I can know that he is getting enough. I don't want to be stressed out by nursing, pumping, and formual feeding because I know my little man will sense that and I want the best for him physcologically too. I refuse to feel guilty about our decision because at least this way we will know for sure that he is getting enough!
As fir the results of the ultrasound...inconclusive so we had to re-do the test today. That was stressful too. Not knowing for sure that his heart is fine. I just want to know that my baby is healthy and that I am playing a part in getting him to his optimum health.
He is such a contect little guy..but now I am convinced it's because something is seriously wrong with him. We get the results next Friday. Untill then, I will try to relax and I will enjoy every second of my baby's exsistence. I am truly greatful for him in our lives.
I think he looks healthy enough. His colour is really good so I think he is fine.