Saturday, November 18, 2006

We went for our pictures today...They turned out great. Here is the man at 8 days old.
We also went to the maternal newborn clinic again today...we went on Tuesday and his weifght was down. So we went today to get a weight check since we will not be seeing the Pediatrician until Dec 01 they want to monitor how is doing. Plus we wanted to get the results of the ultrasound on his little heart they did while he was in NICU.
It did not go well....
He lost another 2 ounces and while it is not cause for major concern...he is still under the normal 10% they are concerned that Jake is not taking enough at each feeding. They think that because of his rough start he is having to work too hard to get the milk out and that he is actually burning more calories than he is taking in. They think that maybe nursing him might be too much work for him because he is too "lazy" to nurse. It was suggested to feed him breast milk, pump..feed him expressed milk then feed him formula until full. I know that once we become parents our children rule our lives, but honestly when would they like me to sleep? I was crying because I am so worried about him. The nurse said that it was not anything that I was doing or not doing it's just some babies don't have the strength or the will to nurse. I told her that at each pump session I have only been getting 1/4 ounce of milk. SO the neonataligist said just supplement with formula. Ok fine. But what they don't understand that he is a really sleepy baby. So was I. My mom said I was the same way. I would drink like an ounce or 2 of formula then fall right to sleep. So maybe Jacob is just like me. A lazy boy. I am fine. In fact I went the oppisite way... ate way too much later in life! When we left I was given these instructions....nurse baby for no more than 20 minutes total...then supplement with formula, every 3 hours pump for 10 minutes. I felt overwhelmed by that. I mean he is eating almost every three hours as it is so when will I have time to pump?
We went for pictures and all I kept thinking about was I am depriving my child. He only ate very little today and was just grazing at each feeding and he would fall asleep right in the middle. Like he always does. He went from about 11:00 this morning sncaked at the clinic for about 5 minutes at 3pm then snacked again at about 5pm and he was not screaming that he was hungry. It made me worry, that he is sick and that I am killing him slowly. We were checking out at the portrait studio and I started to cry. Adam gave me the baby and said to go into the nursing room and nurse him. so I did, afgain he just nursed for about 5 minutes per side and fell asleep. I try to wake him up when he falls asleep at the breat but he is hell bent and determined to sleep. I came to realization that I am retiring my breasts. I want to know exactly what our baby is eating. So that I can relax and I can know that he is getting enough. I don't want to be stressed out by nursing, pumping, and formual feeding because I know my little man will sense that and I want the best for him physcologically too. I refuse to feel guilty about our decision because at least this way we will know for sure that he is getting enough!
As fir the results of the ultrasound...inconclusive so we had to re-do the test today. That was stressful too. Not knowing for sure that his heart is fine. I just want to know that my baby is healthy and that I am playing a part in getting him to his optimum health.
He is such a contect little guy..but now I am convinced it's because something is seriously wrong with him. We get the results next Friday. Untill then, I will try to relax and I will enjoy every second of my baby's exsistence. I am truly greatful for him in our lives.
I think he looks healthy enough. His colour is really good so I think he is fine.
posted by tammy at 11/18/2006 12:40:00 AM | Permalink | 5 comments

Holy Shit!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

On Monday I got ont he scale at my parents house and the scale read 170.9! At the end of my pregnancy I was 188. The day after Jake was born I weighed 173. Pre-pregnancy I weighed 165. Today I hopped on the scale at my parents house again and I weigh....Drum roll please.....160.6! Holy Shit! I am smaller now than before I got pregnant! I am so happy. I can not wait to tell Adam in the morning!
I have 25 pounds to lose to reach my goal of 135 pounds. I can't wait till I can exercise again. That coming from me who during her pregnancy was afraid to fart at the beginning and stopped going to the gym! I am so going back in the New Year!
Jacob is doing well. He is such a content little man. We are very lucky. He is nursing well and sleeps 3-4 hours streches at a time. I am not really tired at all. Plus, I am so in love with my son that any tiredness I may feel is taking away by the sense of euphoria I feel when I look at him. He very rarely cries and when he does he is easily appeased. Today he is 1 week old! He spent the afternoon awake and fussy! And celebrating his birthday! I really can't complain this is the first time he has been fussy for any length of time! Plus he slept well in the night so he had some pent up energy. And he is so damn cute that I could never be upset with him. Besides he just being a baby! Mister Fussy Pants has stolen my heart and the hearts of all those around him. He is a very special little boy!
posted by tammy at 11/16/2006 09:46:00 PM | Permalink | 3 comments

My Birth Story

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Woke up at 730 with a huge pain in my belly. It felt like I had gas pains and the top of my belly was hard and detended. I got up and tried to lay on the couch but it was not helping. I waited until about 10 then I woke Adam up and asked him to please rub my back to move the gas...lI farted a couple times and had a BM but nothing moved it. I tried to eat. Felt nausea. At about 1:00 I had Adam call OB triage...He explained the pains and they said to come in. I was not having any contractions at this time. On the way to the hospital I started to feel some period cramps in my lower belly and there was some lower back pain. We got to the hospital and they hooked me up to the moniters. By this time I was feeling more cramping and they were registering on the moniter. Nothing really painful though, just the same pain from the hard belly. They let me lay there for about 1 hour then a nurse came to check my dialation... she could not get a good feel and she nearly killed me trying! So another nurse came and she tried had better luck and said I was about 2cm and 80% dialated. They called to OB, he came down and said looks like we're having a baby. They hooked up my IV...had to try twice...with the antibiotics and the saline. And a room was found for me. I walked to the room with Adam and shortly after my parents showed up. I took a walk with my mom for about 15 minutes to bring on the contractions. At this point they were still nothing more than period cramps. It is now about 6:00pm. We came back to the room and I told the nurse that I wanted to use the labour tub and she said ok once Dr Mundle comes in and breaks my water she will get it ready for me. The breaking of the water hurt like a son of a bitch. I thought the doctor was looking for my tonsils. The water broke...holy shit there is so much water in there. It ran up and down my back and was so hot. I am so glad it did not break at home. I would have freaked out. It was discovered at this point that Jacob was very high up because if he would have been lower the water would have gushed but not quite like it did. They also found meconium in the water and thus the bath was cancelled and some extra provisions were put in place. An OR was booked in case of emergency and we were told that the NICU would be present at the birth and that quite possibly he would be taken to the NICU. Scary, but we knew that would be for his own good. I was not allowed to get up and walk now because they did not want the baby to have any more exsposure to the meconium. By now the contractions were killing me. Not that they were so painful but, they were back to back with no reprieve in the middle. Adam and I were breathing through them very well but it was too much. I ordered the epidural at 645 and it arrived at 8pm. That was a long hour and a half let me tell you! LOL. The epidural did not hurt as much I thought it was going to the worst part was the freezing needle they put in sent a shock up my spine that I was not expecting. When he put the epidural needle I did not feel that then it felt like cool water running up my back and across my shoulders then down my back and accross my hips. They warned me that I might feel a funny bone hitting sensation right after that but I did not feel that. The relief came almost instantly...except for some reason it only lessened the pain on my right side and I could still feel labour pains there. At 830 the OB on call came in and checked my dialation.. I was at 7. Thank God. He then discovered that the baby was in a tranverse position so the nurse had all these crazy positions to put me in to move the baby into proper positioning. She then said that the doctor ordered Petocin drip and I asked her why? When I was already so far along? She said sometimes it helps with the pushing. I asked her to tell the DR that at this point I was not ready for the petocin because I still feel the pains on my right side and I knew that the petocin would make the pains worse and I was not prepared for that yet. She said she would top off my epidural and see if the right side pains went away. They did not. But they did lessen once again. An hour later she checked me and I was at 10CM and fully dialated. I think this was about 11pm. Because the baby who had moved into postion by now was still very high up I did not have the urge to push she turned down the lights and I had a little nap. At Midnight I started feeling the urge to push so we started. Adam at my right side, my mom at my left and my dad behind me to my left. The nurse who was very crafty was at the bottom of the bed adminstering a perinium message to loosen the skin and get it ready to be stretched. At each contraction I pushed to the count of 10 with my mom and Adam counting it out for me. I pushed for an hour then the baby came passed the pelvic bone and the nurse called for the doctor because I would need an eposiotomy because I still had part of my Hyman. That was quite funny to us! So now we say Jacob is the Messiah and I had an immaculate conception and birth! The doctor was busy dleivering another baby so we just continued to push. I say we because Adam and my mom said they were pushing righ along with me! The nurse said that getting the head to crown was the toughest part and asked me if I wanted the petocin at this point to help the uterus help him down. I said yes, and boy did that speed things up...the next thing I knew the head was out... the dr was no where in sight and I felt so much pressure and the nurse is yelling, I need a dr in here stat...where the hell is he? There were at this point 3 other nurses and the respiroligist in the room waiting for him to be born. They were afraid to have him out that far because they did not want him to inhale the poop. So the nurse was holding his head in. I was screaming I have to push and they were screaming you can't just wait...My mom had just put ice chips in my mouth and I started to hyperventalate and was afraid I would swallow the ice so I just yelled sorry guys and spit those babies across the NICU nurse had to duck...and the ice flew into the wall at the other end of the room the right into the sink. Looking back it was quite comical and has given my family lots to laugh about. So finally the Dr gets there they tell me to give a 1/2 push and the head is allowed to come out. The Dr starts suctioning right away and then I am instructed to give another good push and out popped the shoulders. The next thing I know there is this little man laying on my belly and he is the most beautiful thing I have seen in my life. My mom is weeping, Adam is weeping, my dad is weeping, but I am just in awe staring at him. He could not stay for long though they had to get him to the warmer and access him. Even though he scored 9 on the apgar they said that he had to go to the NICU. They brought him over to me and I kissed his little head and said happy birthday Jacob, I love you. And he, ADam and my dad were whisked away to the NICU. The Dr delivered the placenta and then the fun began... because he could not make it for the epsiotomy I tore from the inside and he had an hour worth of mending to do. All I have to say is thank God for the Epidural or I would have been in agony. The Dr said that without the epidural he may have had to take me to the or to fix me. Ok so that's it. That's the story about how I became a mommy at 109am on Thursday November 09 to my 6 pound 13 ounce 21 inch angel.
Once they sewed me up then I ate some toast... the best toast ever because I was so hungry. And they gave me a sponge bath.. Adam and my dad came back and said the Baby was doing well, that his colour was a lot better and he was on some oxygen. Adam took my mom to see him and my dad was telling me all about the conversation he had with the baby!
At 4am I was put in a wheelchair and taken down to the NICU to meet my new son officially. We nursed for the first time. And as unsure about it as I was, it really did just come naturally Jacob took to it right away. So far we are still doing well and he is eating well. I enjoy it...mostly. But it does drain me and sometimes when I am really tired I wish someone else could take over. But then I see the way my son looks at me and I realize this is something that only he can share and then I love it all over again.
We could go to the NICU 24 hours a day so we went whenever we wanted and we could hold him right away which was great. On Thursday morning it was discovered that Jacob's right lung was holding too much air...(called a nemuthorax, I think) and because it was so inflated it was pushing his heart over to the side too much and causing stress on the heart. They had to stick a needle into his chest and remove some of the air and then hoped that the heart would move over and the arhythmia would improve on its own. Once they did the procedure the lung stayed the way it should be then we just had to watch his heart rate. Once Jacob reached the 24 hour old mark he turned right around and was like a new kid. That was a relief for sure! Thursday night mother love hit me and lay in my bad and just wept with love and gratitude for the special little gift we had been given.
On Friday afternoon he was released from the NICU to our room and it was great to have with us.
On Saturday we came home as a family. After all these years we finally have our angel.
It was the best experience of my life.
Here is a picture.
posted by tammy at 11/15/2006 11:12:00 PM | Permalink | 3 comments

He's Here!!!

Sunday, November 12, 2006
Jacob Adam Warren graced the world on November 9th, at 1:09am he weighed 6lbs 13ounces and is 21 inches long. He is perfect. I will update with the birth stroy...But it was a very easy time. I took the epi-dural! Yeah for drugs. And of coarse, pictures... LOL.
posted by tammy at 11/12/2006 03:14:00 PM | Permalink | 4 comments

C'Mon Jake

Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Don't you think today would be good day for a birthday party? I sure do. It's raining like a mother here and what a great day to be stuck in a hospital. I think so. So Cmon Jacob...make your mother happy! LOL.
I did sleep well last night though. I went to bed at about midnight and watched Annie.. Then I fell asleep at about 1sh and slept till 8ish. Then I was so uncomfortable I came out and slept for 2 more hours on the couch.
I called the caterer and am planning Jacob's Christening! LOL. I am waiting for the minister to call me back!
I called unemployment insurance and asked them some questions about my claim. In Canada we are lucky to be paid for 1 year maternity leave. 55% of our wages.
I also called the bank about our maortgage being paid because I have been off for 3 months sick and we have disability insurance for such a thing. We'll see any little bit helps!
I am trying to get things in order. In case the little man decides he wants to meet me as much as I want him. LOL.
I'll keep you posted.
posted by tammy at 11/07/2006 12:58:00 PM | Permalink | 0 comments

Week 39 OB Appointment

Monday, November 06, 2006
All is well. Nothing is indicating that we are near the end other than that we have 7 days till the due date. We had an ultrasound today and it showed that the fluid is still fine. I thought I was having some leakage but it must have been urine!
I see Dr Mundle again next Wednesday. If Jacob has not celebrated his birthday by then I may talk to to the dr about induction for the following week. We'll see. He said that at this point he's ready when I'm ready. But I said that I wanted to wait and let nature take its coarse at this point. As much as I want him here... I want him safe and also I would really like to experience the whole labour thing from the beginning. I think it is going to be neat. I can not wait.
I will continue to try to post keep you updated. Its not like I have a lot to do now anyway! LOL.
posted by tammy at 11/06/2006 03:48:00 PM | Permalink | 1 comments

We're Still Here

Sunday, November 05, 2006
All is the same. Nothing has changed. Except that Jacob has been issued his official eviction notice! I am so ready for him to be here. I am having more trouble sleeping and I feel so uncomfortable in bed. Plus I just want to meet him and hold him.
I see our OB tomorrow. 8 days left. Yes, I am counting! LOL.
We had our maternity pictures Friday and they turned out nice. I will upload some once I scan them.
Adam's aunt and 2 cousins were here this weekend and we went shopping in the states. I made Adam come with us so he could drive because I knew I would be too tired. I am very glad that I made that decision I was beat. It was such a fun day though.
I have been making a lot of bad food choices this past week. I am scared to step on that scale tomorrow! Oh well just a week left. I should be fine. As long as I can get back on track once he's here and eat well while nursing. That will be my challenge. I know that what I eat will effect Jacob so I need to visit a dietician to make sure that both our nutritional needs are being met. I also have to drink a lot more fluids. I am not drinking near enough fluids. I can feel it. That could be a reason for my bad food choices too. I have to do better.
Anyway, I will keep you posted for sure. If I can't get to a computer.. I will have either Adam or my mom update for you. You will all be the first to know once little man is here.
Thank you for your care and concern...
posted by tammy at 11/05/2006 11:18:00 AM | Permalink | 0 comments

The Author

The life and times of a mother, her ever adorable sons and the crazy antics of her husband.

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Location: Amherstburg, Ontario, Canada

I am a thirty something married, mother of two boys, a three year old and a one year old. I knew I would love motherhood, but I never expected to love it as much as I do. I am a SAHM and love being able to raise my sons. It is trying somedays but we are making it by keeping our sense of humour!


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