Happy Holidays

Sunday, December 25, 2005
Merry Christmas and Happy Chanukkah to all my friends and family. I can't believe that is over and through with. It always happens so fast. It was a nice day though spent with our family. We had my little 18 month old niece over. She is the light of my life. I love her so very much. I never thought it was possible to love someone so much. She was the laugh of the party. Except she has an ear infection and on Christmas Eve she had a very high temperature. We were all very worried about her. Her mom took her to the hospital and they gave them some antibiotics. She was better today. My poor baby girl.
We spoke to our friends this week-end (the ones that adopted) and they lent us their Dear Birth Parent letters so that we could get an idea of what we want to say. One day this week I have to go to the library and order the few books we need to read before our meeting with the practitioner in the New Year. I can't wait to meet with her so that we can get this process started. We have asked most of the people we need for references and all have agreed. We just have two more ask. I see my cousin on Wednesday and I will ask her. Then we need to ask a friend of ours that used to work with Adam because we need a work reference for each of us.
Hope everyone has a great week. I have the next week off so I will not be posting as frequently.
I am down to 185.5!!!!
posted by tammy at 12/25/2005 11:59:00 PM | Permalink | 0 comments

My Letter to Santa

Wednesday, December 21, 2005
You have to try this... It is a scream.


Here is my letter to Santa:

Santa ClausNorth Pole, Earth
Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Robin's Office party. It was Nicole who spiked the punch with too much margarita. I can't help it if I drank 24 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like rubber.
I thought it was funny when I put JoAnne's underpants on my head and danced the charleston on the coffee table while singing `I could have danced all night'. I didn't mean to break Robin's vibrator and don't know why Robin would accuse me of murder.
I don't remember calling Blake's wife a Sweet sheep---even though she looked like one with orange eye shadow and purple lipstick!
And then I threw up on Jill's husband's but, it was only because I ate too much of that pizza.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Magnum through my neighbor's living room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a funny horse and have me arrested for indecent exposure!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all cranky and smelly. And I'm really not to blame for any of this funny stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and shyly yours,Tammy (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 8 bucks!
Frogie's Website
posted by tammy at 12/21/2005 06:19:00 PM | Permalink | 1 comments

Half the Way There

Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Only 63 more pounds to go. I think I will start counting down now. OMG. I am so happy.

We are almost finished our shopping... 3 more presents to buy then we're done. Yippee. All the ones I have at home are wrapped so that's a load off. My house is a mess. I have to clean it from front to back tonight. The windows go in on Thursday so I want it to be clean for that. I know I am an anal nut but it is important to me. Then next Wednesday we have our Hanukkah dinner so if it gets a good cleaning this week it will be easier to control for then.
posted by tammy at 12/20/2005 12:34:00 PM | Permalink | 0 comments

60 Pounds Gone Forever

Friday, December 16, 2005
Today I reached 60 pounds gone. It has been 3.5 months since my surgery. I am one happy chick. I have not been this weight in so long. I can't wait to fit into my favourite Weekender's outfit I have that I have not fit into in about 9 years. Oh glory day when that happens.
My mom is doing well. She is still very sore. The results of her xray showed no leaking so she gets to start her clear liquids diet today. I am sure she won't really feel like eating much though.
There will be a delay in our windows and siding because of the weather. Windows in on the 22nd siding in the New Year. No big deal at least we know its on its way.
posted by tammy at 12/16/2005 01:21:00 PM | Permalink | 0 comments

All Is Well

Thursday, December 15, 2005
The surgery was a success. She made it through with flying colours. No complications. She is very sore...to be expected and is on high pain meds. Ooh gotta love the Morphine pump... LOL.
I could not be happier for her. I am so happy I will have my mother back. This is such an exciting time for our family. I know right now she is in a lot of pain but in a little while she will see that it was all worth it. And I bet she sees that now too since I know how badly she wanted this. She has been trying for so long to have this surgery done and now her dream is realized. 2006 is going to be her year for tranformation. I am so proud of her.
Thank you to everyone for the great wishes and prayers. It worked.
posted by tammy at 12/15/2005 09:13:00 PM | Permalink | 0 comments


Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Friends of ours adopted a baby 9 years ago and gave the name of their licensee, we phoned her and through her we have found someone who will preform our home study. She will be sending us info on books she wants us to read and letters to our references. We need 7. Then we will make an appointment in the New Year to sit down with her for the first interview. The home study costs $1600 and she said that it normally takes around 3 months to complete. We will be going to an adoption class in April in Hamilton. I am looking very forward to that. It is a weekend retreat like setting and costs $400 including meals and accomodations. I didn't think that was so bad. Once the New Year gets here we will start focusing on adoption more and more. This is going to be our year. Maybe not to become parents yet but to at least have some progress. I know that this portion of our journey will have some bumps but I am ready for them because at least I know that there is more of a chance we will end up with a family this way. We are persuing domestic adoption because that is what we are both comfortable with. I know international adoption is a beautiful way for families to be built we just would like to stick closer to home and we really want a new born.
I have stablized with my weight loss. I am stuck at 192... Today is day 1 of aunt Flo so of coarse I am blaming her. LOL. We went to the gym Monday and we are going tonight.
My mom has her surgery tomorrow. I am both nervous and excited. Please wish her luck.
posted by tammy at 12/14/2005 06:03:00 PM | Permalink | 1 comments

Christmas Is Coming

Monday, December 12, 2005
I love this time of year. Adam started our Christmas shopping yesterday. He got a good chunck of it completed. Thankfully.
7 more sleeps till our new windows and siding go in. We are so excited. Adam is going to look for new shutters sometime this week and a new mailbox and numbers for the front of the house.
Today is one of my best friends due date. She is expecting a baby girl named Julie and I am so happy for her. She had luck on her first round of IVF. That was a miracle and so is this baby. I can't wait to meet her.
I am down to 192. Yeah. Almost 60 pounds. We are going to the gym tonight so by the end of the week I should be there. I tried on a pair of pants my aunt gave me at Thanksgiving.... they are size XL and they fit.... not plus size. I was so happy I jumped up and down. I also wore a size Large sweatshirt on Saturday too.
We are going out this week-end with 2 couples for dinner and a movie. I think we will be seeing Walk the Line. I have wanted to see that.
On the fertility front. I have been corresponding with a brillant Grrl who has made me feel better and given me clues as to what may have happened and has advised me some questions to ask our doctor. Thanks a bunch to her. She is the best.
We have also been really looking into adoption and are considering taking our $6000 and applying it towards a home study so that it fast tracks our adoption dreams. Once we meet with the doctor we will decide for sure. But it looks like we are leaning more towards the adoption. We will start the home study in the Spring and ussually it takes about 6 months to complete. So by next year at this time we will be able to send our profile to every agency in Ontario. We will be working on our profile in the New Year. We already have a draft of our dear birth mother letter written.
Other than that nothing else is new.
posted by tammy at 12/12/2005 10:13:00 AM | Permalink | 0 comments

Not good news

Tuesday, December 06, 2005
We had bad news yesterday. For us and for the recpient couple. All five of the eggs were of poor quality and even after ICSI they would not divide. They are concered about egg quality for our cycle and so now this opens a whole new can of worms.
I know this is not my fault but I still feel responsible for not having better luck, I wish I could hug that couple and tell how sorry I am. I feel like I robbed them of their money. I mean we could not fortell this would happen but still. I feel very sad and hopeless right now.
We have to have a consult with the Dr in the New Year once he evaluates my cycle to see what if anything went wrong. We are thinking that maybe we will take the $6000 and put it towards adoption. At least there is more of a guarentee that way. I know we will pass a homestudy.
posted by tammy at 12/06/2005 11:16:00 AM | Permalink | 1 comments

The Egg Retreival

Monday, December 05, 2005
I had my egg retreival on Saturday. It went well. I was so drugged I felt nothing at all. I remember the nurse putting my feet in the stirrups and then waking up in recovery. Nothing to it. The worst part was having the IV placed in my hand. When they put the sleepy drug in it burned like crazy. I was glad I was out like a light right after that. We came home right after. There was some cramping but nothing horrible. I took 1 tylenol 3 and that was it.
I had 5 eggs. I was hoping for 6 or more but hopefully they have luck with the 5 we retreived. The nurse told me that with the donor there is ussually good luck. I don't know if she just told me that to make me feel better but, it worked. Now the praying begins.
On Sunday we had the mass for our dead relatives. It was nice to all be together.
My mom got her surgery date... It will be on the 15th December. I hope this time she has good luck. I want her to have this surgery. I want my mother back.
I have plateaued with my weight. But I think that may have something to do with the drugs I was taking. I am sure it will start coming off again. I will be going to the gym this week again so that will help.
Nothing else is new.
posted by tammy at 12/05/2005 10:00:00 AM | Permalink | 0 comments

The Author

The life and times of a mother, her ever adorable sons and the crazy antics of her husband.

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Location: Amherstburg, Ontario, Canada

I am a thirty something married, mother of two boys, a three year old and a one year old. I knew I would love motherhood, but I never expected to love it as much as I do. I am a SAHM and love being able to raise my sons. It is trying somedays but we are making it by keeping our sense of humour!


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