So the whole rash thing has not gotten any better. In fact it's gotten a lot worse. I have scratched my skin raw and I am so sore. I hate the way I feel so much. I went to see my family doctor after the remedies dear OB suggested failed royally. She tends to think it's a yeast infection. Great. So now I have all this canestan cream to rub all over my body. She gave me to jars of it and I finished one yesterday! I am giving it till tomorrow to work and if I have no relief..short from jumping out of my skin, I will go back to Dr Mundle. I could live with being spotted for the next 5.5 months but the itch has got to go! I feel so guilty being so miserable because I want to be pregnant so badly... but I feel so bad I find myself wishing it were November already. I really thought I would enjoy being pregnant but right now I can say I hate this side effect. I have not felt any more flutters in awhile so then I think that maybe something is wrong with the baby. Then I feel scared and sad. I just heard the heartbeat at Dr Mundle's last Tuesday but as we know anything can happen at the drop of a hat. I have felt some cramping so then that scares me too but my mom told me that sometimes when it's suppose to be your time of the month sometimes you feel cramps; it would be my tom right about now. I need to just stop worrying.
On a more exciting note, we have decided to stay in our house and just fix it up. So this weekend we will be going to Rona and buying the wood for our deck the tub surround the new vanity and the flooring for our bathroom. Then we will go to Costco and buy our new fridge. We went to the bank and renewed our mortgage early so we got some money from the equity in our home. Then we will work on getting the living room and the dining room painted and new french doors in our bedroom! In September we will start the baby's room. Everything's starting to come together now. At least there are some good things to look forward to!

Will not cause harm to me our babeboo so that was a relief. He said to take Benydrill and use an Aveeno type cream. So I will go tonight to get some. He did the heart rate again and the baby kept fliipping over on him.. It was funny. But anyway the hear rate is 160! Still could be a girl! 4 weeks yesterday till the U/S. Did I mention that I can not wait to find out if the baby will be Jacob or Saulina? I think I might of once or twice.
So that was a non eventful appointment and as always he was a doll. Told me to come back if it gets worse or does not go away. And then said as I was leaving,, "I hope you feel better soon!" He is so sweet. Also, when you are lying on the table he always offers you his hand to help you up. No other OB has ever done that for me, male or female. That is such a nice touch. He really is so thoughtful.

The wedding was nice. Adam was very busy all weekend. On Friday he did not even come home he just slept there. It was nice to have to bed to myself! LOL.I learned that I love ranch salad dressing and could not get enough of it! Yummy. After the wedding I went to a fast food restaurant to buy a salad and ranch dressing! I think that was my first wild craving! I could have it again. I think I will have my mom stop on the way home so I can get some ranch dressing!
On Friday night my mom and I went out to eat it was really nice. Then we went to Michaels and bought the materials to make our shower pins.. They are so cute little soothers. Pink and blue ones. The guests get one at the door and then there is one that is white and that person wins a prize! I found some invites I like I think I will buy them from there. They have tiny foot prints on them. We also went to the Thyme Maternity outlet because my cousin called to tell me that they had bras on for buy one get one 1/2 price and some p.j's on for $19.99. I desperately need both. I found a bra I really like but could not afford it just yet I did buy two t shirts one pink and one white. My mom bought me the sweetest baby journal to fill out for the baby. I can not wait to start it but I want to get a special pen for it.
We rebuilt our closet yesterday, my dad came over to help and my mom came too. We bought a rubbermaid closet organizer. I love it. It has the shelf tower in the middle and then 3 rods to hang clothes. I also bought a shoe rack so now the closet looks amazing! I want to do the same in the baby's room too. Since the room is so small it will be nice to have some extra storage. I was able to clean out a whole drawer out of my dresser. I also moved my mat clothes over to our bedroom closet. I tried everything on again and it would appear that my ass has grown! Some of the stuff that once fit are very tight in the bum! LOL. Also, we noticed that sometime over the weekend....my belly popped! I have a pouch now! It is still small but my regular pants are feeling a little tight and it won't be long before I have outgrown them. I took some of my "skinny" cloths and put them in a bin under my bed to make room in the closet so those will be goal clothes once again come November/December. I am confident I will get the weight off! I think too that I gained about 3 pounds! I will have to check again but it looks likes the scale went up. Only took 3.5 months!
I started getting a rash. It is on my neck, head, waist, under arms and legs. It really itches and I have been getting head aches too. I left a message for Dr Mundle so I am waiting to hear from him. It's like little pink bumps that pop when itched! I have had the chicken pox already and I was vaccinated for measels so I am just not sure what it is. Better not be measels I will be so scared for my baby. I mean I could handle raising a deaf child, I already know sign language but blindness would devastate me for the child's sake. I know we could get through it though but I would just be so sad. It would not make me love the child less of coarse but it would just break my heart for all the missed opportunity for them. I could not imagine a world where I could not see and to not share sight with my child would really hurt. I know I would learn different ways to share with them and it would force us to be creative in our thinking and that's not such a bad thing... but how do you explain colours to a child who has never seen? Ok so this topic is just morbid...moving on.
That was my weekend in a nut shell. I will keep you posted on the rash! LOL

Adam is standing in a wedding this weekend. He will be very busy all weekend. Tomorrow I am going to get my nails done then buy the happy couple a present.
On Sunday, my parents are coming over so that my dad can help Adam put the closet they built together in October back together. On Wednesday night, I went to go into the closet only to find that the shelf and the rod had fallen out of the wall! LOL. It was quite laughable. So our clothes are now on the floor in the middle of our bedroom. We are going to get a closet organizer and rebuild the inside of the closet. Just something else to spend our porch fund on! That porch just keeps getting further away. I swear November is not that far away and we have so much to do. We want to buy a new fridge for the kitchen build a breakfast bar and move the microwave stand across the room then put up a small mural over the breakfast bar so that it would appear you were sitting in front of a window looking out into a meadow lay some new linoleum down. Then we want to redo the tub surround in our bathtub and re-do the flooring. We put cermaic tile in 3 years ago and I hate it I want to take it out and get a nice sheet of linoleum to put down. Next we want to paint the living room and maybe the dining room but that room has cathedral ceilings so I would want to hire someone for that. I am not about to paint that myself. The other rooms are fine for me. Then of coarse we need to assembly the nursery! That will the most fun of all I can not wait for that. We have to find out what we are having then it will be fun to decide. I already have a few options but can't choose till I know for sure! So we have a lot of work to do and very little money to do it with! It will be interesting to see how much gets completed. The ulimate for me though would be to sell the dump and buy a new house! But then I woke up! LOL.

Recently, it has come to my attention that some people from my work have been checking out my blog. I don't have a problem with people visiting just not for the purpose I hear they are coming here for. If I had a privacy issue, I would not have a blog but don't try to use things I write here against me. Grow up. IF I say I hate my job and want my mat leave to start now it doesn't mean I am leaving tomorrow. Nor does it mean if I am having a really crappy day and say I may go see my doctor so she can write me a note to go off again that I am going for sure... I am merely blowing off steam which is one reason I have this blog!
I don't want to have to sensor what I write on this blog but I may have to start if I keep hearing things are being twisted.
So to my co-worker readers, welcome, pull up a chair, leave a comment or two or three, talk to me about what you read... there is nothing I write here that I would not otherwise speak to anyone about anyway. But, please take things you read here at face value and remember that you too have bad days and say things just to bitch. I am not going on cookoo leave again anytime soon... I am the healthiest I have been in a very long time. I am not leaving for Matleave until way later in my pregnancy and trust me when I figure it out... you will be the very first to know!

It was a good appointment with a lot less waiting this time! Only about 10 minutes. Good for him. We talked about the whole mid wife thing and though he said he supports my decision. He did tell me that last year his average delivering his own patients was 85% and that was the same average most mid wives could state too. So to me why would I jeopordize my prenatal care to build a relationship with a midwife when there is a 15% chance she will not be there to deliver my baby anyway. I love Dr Mundle so I have made the choice to have Dr Mundle deliver my bundle! LOL. We used to heartbeat monitor and heard it loud and clear. The heart rate is 165! I am thinking that is leaning towards my girl! I hope! My best friend's baby's heart rate was close to that and she is having a GIRL!!!! So fingers crossed. I have my gender determination ultrasound booked for June 19th! Let's hope the baby is an exhibitionist just like it's mother and opens wide so we can see for sure what is in there. Hope hope hope! But all is well in babyville!

Adam bought me a fetal heartbeat monitor. It is amazing. You can hear the heartbeat, talk to the baby, read to the baby, and play the baby music. It's the one form Motherhood materinty. We treid using it and could hear little movements but it said we probably would not hear the heartbeat until about 5 months. I can't wait.
I see Dr Mundle tomorrow, I am looking forward to talking with him about mid-wifery and seeing where he stands on the issue for me. If he is unsure about it then I will hit with my plan to have him and only him deliver our baby. We'll see how that works out for me! I also hope he can show me the baby again and tells me when we will book the next ultrasound to determine the sex of the baby! I can not wait for that.
We finally decided on a name for our girl should we be having one!!!
Saulina Florence Noble. Saul was my grandfather's name and Florence was my grandma's and is Adam's grandma's name. So it's perfect. The baby is due the day before my grandpa's birthday so it's so fitting. And of coarse the boy will be Jacob Adam Warren. Adam changed it from Saul to Warren because he thought that if we had a boy this time and used Saul then we wouldn't want to use Saulina for our girl! My father's hebrew name is Yankle which can be translated into english as Jacob, Adam of coarse comes from Hubby and Warren is my dad's middle name. If it was my choice I would just have Jacob Warren so that his first two initials match my dad's (it's a jewish naming thing) but Adam really wants a Jr and I don't so we comprimised that way. All the boys in ADam's family have 3 names anyway so this way the tradition fits. If you but Jake's initials together they spell JAWN! Sounds like John! LOL. Too funny. Saulina's are fine SFN. Simple. So that's setteled. Now we just have find out what we are having and we'll be all set.
Happy Mother's Day to all out there. Hope it's a nice day for you. The weather here sucks! But I am not letting ruin my day! I am wearing a maternity top today!

I spoke to a midwife today. It did not go well. She feels I am too much of a risk to have a home birth and that I am in the best place I could be with Dr Mundle. I told her that I had no doubts about the pre natal care Dr Mundle could offer me however I am concerned about when I go into labour and end up in the hospital and he is not on call and some asshole comes strolling through the door a hospital situation is not what I am comfortable with. She said well you could go through your prenatnal care with Dr Mundle than call us you know when your in the last part of your pregnancy and we can see if we have an opening. I said you're missing my point, I would like to build a relationship/rapport with the person who will bringing my child into the world and if I am coming to you at the end it kind of defeats my purpose. I asked her why she could not monitor me as closely as say Dr Mundle could and she explained that it is because she has limits. For example I will need a level 2 ultrasound and she can not order those. She was reallt sweet, I really can not say anything bad about her. Honestly, I admire her for her honesty and she seemed to really care about my well being and that of our baby. She did suggest to me to talk to Dr Mundle about my fears about not having him be avaiable to deliver my baby and she said I have seen Dr Mundle do it for other women..he is kind of a push over that way! That made me laugh and I know he has offered that to others because he did do that for my cousin. I think I will have use my feminine wiles on him on Monday. She also suggested that I be seeing a dietician and I do agree with her so I will ask Dr Mundle for a refferal when I see him. I was a little upset when I got off the phone with her because I felt like I really don't have a choice in this but then I realized that's true I don't This is not about me really it's about our baby and what is best for him/her and if being closely monitored by a high risk OB is best for baby than that is what I choose, hands down. If the midwife is not equipped to handle our special needs than I want the one who is equipped. I know that by far that person is Dr Mundle. I will talk to him about this though and see where he stands with it.
I took a sick day today because I have been so tired, it does not matter how mcuh sleep I get I am just tired. Plus, I have been getting a headache everyday lately and I had a lot of gas that was making me very uncomfortable and I have been very dizzy and lightheaded. Not to mention that I hate going to work lately. I wish I could go off on Mat leave now. LOL. I think I am a little dehydrated. I have a hard time getting all my liquids in each day. Being a gastric bypass patient I can not drink about 20 minutes prior to a meal and I have to wait 30 minutes after a meal befor resuming drinks. So it's difficult because I have to eat 6 small meals a day. Since becoming pregnant I also feel hungry ALL the time so I feel like I am eating all the time. I maybe get in 5-6 8 ounce glasses of liquids. I know I need to get those extra 2-3. I am going to talk to Dr Mindle about that too. In Ypsilanti that told me I may have to put in the hospital a few times to get IV fluids. I would like to not have that happen but again whatever is best for baby.
My best friend found out yesterday she is having a girl!! Yeah! I will be God Mother to a little girl! I am thrilled. Of coarse I would have been equally thrilled to be God Mother to a boy. I told Adam now I really hope we have a girl too how sweet will they be together? But then when I thought about it I thought I bet that means we will have a boy. We are so surrounded by little girls that I am sure it's our turn to bring a boy into the mix! Not that I mind either way. Plus, then I said to Adam.. she is planning on calling the baby Olivia so let's see Oliva Noble ooh that sounds nice... Mr and Mrs Jacob and Olivia Noble!! If we have a boy we'll just prearrange thier marriage! LOL. Too cute. I am 13.5 weeks now so we should be able to find out in another 5 weeks or so! I can not wait to know what we will be having... I am excited to decorate the nursery and know for sure what his/her name will be!

Yesterday I was standing in my mothers computer room watching my dad and Adam look at racing websites while my mom was sitting on the bed being bored to tears by them. We are such a close family that we like to be together. LOL. So anyway I was standing surrounded by the glory of my family when I felt this funny little flutter. I said "what the hell was that?" My mom said what? I said there was this little flutter. She said "welcome to the second trimester...you just felt life" I was so shocked and happy. It was the neatest feeling ever. I felt it about 10 more times yesterday. This is getting more and more real for me. Thank you God for this experience.

I have been thinking about taking some birthing classes but I don't know which ones are better than the other. I just read about Hypno Birthing. Has anyone experienced birth through this technique or been through the classes. I like the idea of it, I just don't know if Adam and I are patient enough to learn the relaxation techniques! I have also been thinking a lot about a water at home birth. There is a doctor in a town near us that will assist in this. I am just not comfortable with the hospital birthing experience and if I go into labour in the middle of the night I will end up with the doctor who is on call. I am not comfortable with that. I think too, I would feel a lot more comfortable in my own home. I really love my OB, but there is no guarantee that he will deliver my baby. I am unsure of broaching the topic with him because I am afraid that he will be offended. I know it is my choice but I don't want to burn my bridges! Also, we live about 40 minutes from the nearest hospital, so if something were to go wrong we are a good distance away from help. When my cousin went to the same hospital to have her baby they just did what they wanted to with her. Gave her the pip drip etc and she never thought to ask what they were doing. I know I would never be that passive, I would want to know what they were doing to me at all times. But I have heard stories about how the nurses have the attitude that they know best. I know they do this for a living but I also think a woman knows her body best and I want to be heard on the most important day of my and my baby's life. I have thought about hiring a doula, but all the ones I have met in this area I have not felt comfortable with. I would really like to have a drug free birth. I know that might sound unrealistic, but it's how I imagine my baby's birth. I am deathly afraid of the epidural. I had a friend go paralyzed from one and she had to have emergency surgery to correct the problem. Luckily, she ok today with very little issues but she missed so much of her baby's first couple years of his life due to the mishap. I don't want that. I know that is one story out of a thousand. But I want to be able to get up and walk if I want to and not be confined to a bed for God knows how many hours. I think I will call the water birth doctor and see how I feel about him and what he has to offer. Then once I speak to him, I will speak to Dr Mundle about if he thinks that would be the best plan for us, giving my post opness!
Anyway, if anyone can share their birth experiences I would greatly appreciate it. What techniques you learned before hand, or if you just winged it!! If you had a home birth, water birth etc. I would love to gather as much info as I can.
Thank you in advance.

Our phone was ringing off the hook this morning at 521am. My first thought was oh shit who died? Well thankfully no one died. It was Adam's work calling to tell him not to come into work because a feeder plant the haul for went on strike on midnite and all their runs were on hold til further notice. Great news. I could not really get back to sleep after that. I tossed and turned. Then I had this thought that the big tree in our front yard fell over and landed on our house (it was really windy) then I imagined the new house I could build in it's spot. Boy, it was a great house, but I would really rather have been sleeping.
Tomorrow, my dad will come over to help Adam put up the new shutters, that will be nice. We have had them for about 2 weeks. I can not wait to see how cute the house will look with them. I will be sure to take some pictures and post them. If I can find a good before I will too. We just replaced all the windows and siding. I hope they can work on the front porch too. Maybe if they get motivated they will attempt it. A girl can dream can't she? LOL.

My friend and I went to the states on Friday for some girl time and shopping. She needed some maternity clothes and I just wanted to spend some time with her. We had such a nice time. We went to Motherhood and I bought a pair of navy blue pants which is really all I had left to buy. They were on sale for $9 so you really can't go wrong! Plus, I found this so cute top for $12. I just had to buy that. I can not wait to wear it. I think I am going to wear it on Mother's day!!! I found some cute shoes too. Payless had Buy One get One Free!!! Gotta love it.
On Sunday Adam and went to a place called St Jacob's to meet a friend of mine and her new beau. We had a really nice time and walking around St Jacob's was good exercise. I found a pregnancy calendar that is just so cute. I had to fill it out as soon as I got home!!! And now it is hanging on my wall in our bedroom. I can't wait to share it with our baby when they get older.
We have been trying to figure out names for our little one and we have a boy name selected but the girl name we just can't seem to agree on... That makes me think we will have a girl!!! I really would like to have a girl, but I think we will have a boy. If the baby is born a boy his name will be Jacob Adam Saul. If she is born a girl we are wavering between Alexis Carolanne (Lexi) Natalie Tziporah or Renee no middle yet. I like all of those names but can not decide on one. I know we have about 6.5 months left but it is fun and exciting to imagine what her name might be. I know it will also depend on what she looks like. We might decide on one name, then see her and she is something so different. We'll have to wait and see. We don't find out what sex we are having until the end of June beginning of July so we just have to be patient. Something I am not at all good at. LOL.
Today, I am so grumpy. I hate my job today. I just want to leave and not look back. The customers are bugging me and it's taking everything out of me to just be nice. I don't usually have a problem being nice. I am very good at blowing sunshine up the customers asses. Just today, I don't know I am on the verge of loosing it. If I did not have to pick Adam up after work, I would go home but, to go all the way home 40 minutes just to drive back to get him 4 hours later for 40 minutes is such a waste of gas. He would kill me!!! LOL. I am going to make an appointment with my family doctor to see what she can do for me. Maybe she can write me off work for a month or so. Just so I can catch my breath or something. I can not afford to loose my job because I was bitchy. LOL. We'll see.
This week is the last week of our Spark's. I love the little girls well most of them but I am glad I will not have to think of anymore ideas .. I am idead out! Let me tell you. I will not be returning in the fall as I will be a little busy getting things ready for my little bambino, but I said I would help get the new unit off the ground if they found someone to take it over. I hope they do we have 3 sparks returning so I hope that things work out for them.
Anyway other than those little tidbits, nothing else is new.